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Bipolarity

I’ve been seeing a shrink

It started after I told Thing #1 I wanted to kill myself and asked if she wanted to come with

That was when I finally realized I was out of control

It’s been since high school, some 30 years ago that I’ve felt so self-destructive

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My Stolen Self


I hate you for stealing me from myself

I am so broken that all I can see is the ugly in people

Taking advantage of those who are generous

Lying, cheating and stealing to get what they want

Or to hurt someone deeply

Intentionally

And I am becoming that person

I’ve lost my trust

My willingness to help

It’s so hard to be nice

To remember that everyone has a story I don’t know

My heart used to be eager

Innocent

But it’s dead now

Or maybe in a coma

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I Quit!

All I ever do is quit.

When I get frustrated, I quit.

When the choices get too hard, I quit.

Quitting is my go-to.

I run away from relationships, friendships, even strangers.

But I guess it’s not always bad.

I quit smoking

I quit drinking soda

I quit my “almost relationship”

BUT

I still need to quit my drinking

My procrastinating

My self-loathing

Living in the past, fearing change, trying to please everyone, overthinking…

And probably a million other things…

bamboo-divider-line

Wednesday’s Daily Prompt: Quit

 

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Crazy Times

The last two years have been all over the place.

More bad than good, sadly.

You know, sometimes, no matter how positive you are (or try to be), life is just shit?

I moved across Denver a little over 2 years ago.

A week after that, my car was stolen. Presumably by an ex-boyfriend.

Last summer (2017) I finally lost my real estate accounting job with the crazy girl and the incompetent upper management.

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7 Ways to Tell You’re Just a Booty Call (and/or that Your S.O. has Probably Moved On)

  1. He/She doesn’t show any interest in any of the things that interest you
  2. He/She doesn’t buy you gifts “just because”, or for holidays, or ever
  3. He/She doesn’t take you anywhere and always says “No” when you ask them to do something with you (outside of the bedroom)
  4. He/She stops inviting you over to his/her house
  5. He/She forgets your birthday, even after being reminded it’s coming up
  6. He/She only hears what he/she wants you to want, not what you actually want
  7. He/She can only find 3-4 hours a week to spend time with you – sequestered alone in your bedroom, working at least 50% of the time and ‘letting’ you please him/her the rest of the time

Don’t find out the hard way 😦

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Popcorn Saved My Life

A little over a week ago, while I was driving to my aesthetician for my monthly mons pubis mingis removis, some crazy woman pulled directly in front of me while I was going about 20 miles per hour.

I had to slam on the brakes and crank the steering wheel far to the right in order to avoid hitting her. Breezy lurched up and over the curb and I am surprised as hell that we didn’t run that fucking bitch over!!

Err, that being said, it was unnerving (to say the least) and I was glad that the light was red so I could sit and breathe and recover.

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