I’m not much of a whiner.
At least I try not to be.
Obviously I have times where I rant and complain and yes, possibly whine.
But I would rather be a grateful person and try to look at all the good and see the positive around me.
Lately that’s been getting harder and harder.
My bright days are getting grayer and grayer.
It’s harder to pull out of the funk.
Mondays are the worst. Probably because I spend every weekend roller skating with my friends and all the endorphins get built up. Then, Monday morning comes and there I am, in the middle of a crash.
I’ve been thinking about writing here about my feelings, but why?
You guys can’t help me. Shit! You might not even want to.
Most days I cry for no reason.
Other days I have to force myself to go outside or exercise – and that’s something I ENJOY doing! Plus, it helps me put the sadness away for a little while.
But it always comes back.
Even when I run away and try to hide from it.
As the days go by, I tell myself that everything’s okay. But then I wonder why I can’t stop crying.
There’s nothing really to cry about.
What the hell is wrong with me?
My life is going well.
I have my divorce; I’m single.
My daughters are grown.
And, for the first time in my life, I have an amazing group of friends! Not just one friend – AN ENTIRE GROUP!!!
I am grateful for those things every single day, along with a thousand other things: the fact that I have a job (even though I don’t like it), I have my health, I have a home and two reliable vehicles and food on my table and the ability to take vacations, etc etc etc…
So why is this stupid weight so heavy?