Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

My First Meeting

on December 11, 2019

So… last Thursday night I finally bit the bullet and went to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting

I’d been sober for 12 days and it was getting tougher and tougher to resist stopping at the liquor store on my way home from work

Two weeks seems to be about all I can handle before I need to cave and buy another bottle



It was a small meeting, held in an AA-dedicated space – only 5 plus me in attendance

I didn’t have the foggiest idea what to expect, but everyone did their best to help me feel comfortable

It was overwhelming and a bit nauseating how positive it was in there

Hearing each of their stories was staggering

I haven’t yet gotten to the point where I am blacking out and not knowing how I got home

I don’t even drink in public which is an issue, I know

Alcohol or even my addiction problem hasn’t caused me to put people in danger

Neglect them maybe…

This is probably just my inner addict talking, but aside from my extremely bipolar behavior I hardly hurt my children at all… 😦

I mean, one is my best friend and roommate; we get along great the other hasn’t spoken to me in months

I haven’t gone to jail or prison, or even been tossed in the drunk tank for the night/weekend to sober up…

After listening to their stories, I felt like I didn’t really belong there and there was so much God! OMG!

I definitely wasn’t comfortable sharing my stupid, middle-aged-white-chick story with 4 men who had done actual, real time

When I started writing this post last week, the day after my meeting, I was excited to have another go at it

But a couple of days passed…

I had a couple of glasses of wine over the weekend and truly thought about my choices

That’s all I drank – two glasses of Riesling on Sunday afternoon WOO HOO!!!!

I didn’t need to finish the bottle so I could start the next!

That was encouraging!

Encouraging enough to be DIScouraging

2 responses to “My First Meeting

  1. nichtisobel says:

    way to go! Yes, KEEP GOING! (Says the woman who just started attending CoDA meetings).

Talk to me :-)

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