Okay, now that I have that out of my system…
Sometimes, do you ever feel like throwing a tantrum might actually make you feel a tiny bit better?
If anything, just to relieve some of the pressure?
Last night one of the regular skaters I’ve known since I started skating here in Denver asked me about Loserman. I’ll call him Ken.
Apparently, the night before, Ken went skating at a different location and Loserman was there.
Which, I guess, prompted him to ask me (yet again…), “What’s up with Loserman? Have you seen him lately? I haven’t seen you guys together in forever.”
“No, Ken,” I answered. “He stopped talking to me over a year ago.”
“Really? It’s been that long?”
“Yeah. Time flies.”
“Well. Why don’t you guys talk any more?”
(Gawd!!! We’ve had this exact same conversation over 10 times!! Do we have to have it again?!? Last spring Ken bothered me about it ad nauseam. For a couple months I pretty much quit skating because of his constant reminders. Everyone else stopped asking about it when I told them Loserman had broken up with me)
“I don’t know, Ken. I gave up calling him and texting him when he stopped answering my calls and responding to my texts. If you need to know why he stopped talking to me, you probably should ask him. Why? Did he say something to you last night?”
“No. You know how he is. Once he gets out on the skate floor, he’s in his own world. I skated behind him a couple times. He looked good.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “That’s pretty much how we all are. Good he’s okay-seeming.” (I don’t want to talk about it any more. What the fuck, Dude!)
“I think he got a new job,” said Ken. “Still driving that same truck…”
“Good for him. I’m gonna go back out and skate a couple more songs before it’s time to go home. I don’t want to talk about Loserman any more, Ken. It still hurts quite a bit. It was nice talking to you.”
“Yeah, you too, smitten.”
I went back out and skated a couple more songs and then Thing #1 and I went home where I thought I would get drunk and cry.
Instead, I had a couple of drinks, ate some food and then went to sleep.
My sleep was restless and I woke up extra tired this morning.
I feel like crap emotionally and I can’t seem to focus on anything. Maybe it’s because I slept like shit, or maybe it’s because now Loserman is fresh in my head all over again.
Asshole… Erg… I mean, HORSEFLY!!!
You know…? Recently (like in April) Ken and his girlfriend of several years split up…
Maybe I should ask him about her fucking ass ever time I see him.
Except that I don’t think it works the same for boys.
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Smitten with Him 
Actually, the annoyance factor might finally get through to him, if nothing else. I mean, he might not understand how it sends you into a tailspin of recent-breakup-itis, but being peppered with “so-where’s-the-ex-howcomeweneverseeher?” over and over and FUCKING OVER AGAIN should still bother him enough to get you to ask him to stop. Then, the next time he mentions Loserman you can say “hey, remember how you don’t want to keep explaining about YOUR ex? Yeah.”
Sadly, none of this will work as intended if his actual story is that he’s a shit-stirrer who craves the tasty dramacakes of your breakup and resents that you’ve stopped serving them. If that’s his deal, then you just gotta keep showing him your back and invent a bubble in which he Does Not Exist.
I’m trying to figure out if he’s a shit-stirrer-upper…
Avoidance here is key, I think 😀
Bonus stop-bringing-this-shit-to-my-door script: “Ken, if you want to know why Loserman did or does something, you should go ask him. Me, I’ma go skate. Bye.”
(Use that as soon as he asks, “What’s up with Loserman? Or, “Hey, how come we don’t see Loserman anymore?” or any of that shit. Don’t even let him start winding you up, is my point.)
Could go with blunt…”as this is the twenty-first time you’ve asked this same question, the answer still hasn’t changed. Ask me about him for the twenty-second time will be your last.” And walk off or skate off. Promptly ignore, brutal ice ignore Ken if he asks again.
Thank you 🙂
Hey Smitten, Yep probably throwing a tantrum helps. Little kids sometimes have it figured out better than us, and I mean it.
Yeah, Ken is probably unaware of what he is doing when he asks you these questions.
But nope, for some men, it works exactly the same way as women. I guess that makes us dorks 🙂 Dorking it with style! 🙂
The innocence of children, right?
Dorks are phenomenally cool!!!! 😀
Yes ma’am!!!!
I think this guy is precisely aware of what he is doing each time he sees and asks you and is reporting your responses/reactions back to said Loserman. The next time I would have a snarky, smartass reply such as “ya know, I just figured he’s an inconsiderate douche, I’ve moved on with my life and perhaps you should do the same.” But that’s just me 😊
It’s funny you say that, because I agree. That’s why I asked him if he talked to Loserman and told him that, if he really needed to know, he should ask Loserman. I felt I was being direct when I said I didn’t want to talk about it any more, it still hurts. But next time, I will be more direct and blunt instead of trying to “be nice”.
Thanks!
Yes He and his buddy Loserman both sounds like childish horses asses! I agree with telling douche bag Ken how happy your are etc.
And yes, rubbing it in about his breakup. Trust me it will affect him.
Thank you for saying so. I often wonder, with all of the differences between men and women, what are the similarities?
Actually when it comes to feelings etc I think we have a lot more similarities than a person would think. It’s just a lot of men seem to think that they have to be so call Macho and hide it.