Okay, now that I have that out of my system…
Sometimes, do you ever feel like throwing a tantrum might actually make you feel a tiny bit better?
If anything, just to relieve some of the pressure?
Last night one of the regular skaters I’ve known since I started skating here in Denver asked me about Loserman. I’ll call him Ken.
Apparently, the night before, Ken went skating at a different location and Loserman was there.
Which, I guess, prompted him to ask me (yet again…), “What’s up with Loserman? Have you seen him lately? I haven’t seen you guys together in forever.”
“No, Ken,” I answered. “He stopped talking to me over a year ago.”
“Really? It’s been that long?”
“Yeah. Time flies.”
“Well. Why don’t you guys talk any more?”
(Gawd!!! We’ve had this exact same conversation over 10 times!! Do we have to have it again?!? Last spring Ken bothered me about it ad nauseam. For a couple months I pretty much quit skating because of his constant reminders. Everyone else stopped asking about it when I told them Loserman had broken up with me)
“I don’t know, Ken. I gave up calling him and texting him when he stopped answering my calls and responding to my texts. If you need to know why he stopped talking to me, you probably should ask him. Why? Did he say something to you last night?”
“No. You know how he is. Once he gets out on the skate floor, he’s in his own world. I skated behind him a couple times. He looked good.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “That’s pretty much how we all are. Good he’s okay-seeming.” (I don’t want to talk about it any more. What the fuck, Dude!)
“I think he got a new job,” said Ken. “Still driving that same truck…”
“Good for him. I’m gonna go back out and skate a couple more songs before it’s time to go home. I don’t want to talk about Loserman any more, Ken. It still hurts quite a bit. It was nice talking to you.”
“Yeah, you too, smitten.”
I went back out and skated a couple more songs and then Thing #1 and I went home where I thought I would get drunk and cry.
Instead, I had a couple of drinks, ate some food and then went to sleep.
My sleep was restless and I woke up extra tired this morning.
I feel like crap emotionally and I can’t seem to focus on anything. Maybe it’s because I slept like shit, or maybe it’s because now Loserman is fresh in my head all over again.
Asshole… Erg… I mean, HORSEFLY!!!
You know…? Recently (like in April) Ken and his girlfriend of several years split up…
Maybe I should ask him about her fucking ass ever time I see him.
Except that I don’t think it works the same for boys.