Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Can We Say Impulse Control?!?!

on August 2, 2013

I’m a moron! I did it again! Well, I didn’t really do it, but I made someone think that I might. Why is it that when boys flatter me I completely lose control of my sensibilities!?

I belong to a few Roller Skating groups in Facebook and this guy in one of those groups really thinks that I am the bee’s knees. I love flattery (maybe because I didn’t get many compliments when I was growing up, I don’t know) and I can’t seem to resist a guy who likes to talk dirty to me and tell me how beautiful I am (for the record, Loverman did not seek me out. I REALLY wanted him! And now he frequently validates my sexuality very well — and talks dirty to me!). Both times Dude and I talked, I maintained that I am in a very happy relationship and I am extremely satisfied with my lover (I like him so much I wish I could have him more!).

After our second conversation, I briefly talked to his roommate and asked him if Dude was a player. He candidly responded, “He’s a man. Of course he’s a player. I’m a player. But skating is my real girl.”

So, Dude was supposed to call me tonight. I am hoping that he got the hint when I kept telling him “I am really a flirt, I love the attention and the flattery, but I really really like my boyfriend. My sexy baby takes very good care of me and he trusts me.” Still, this gentleman was very persistent and insisted that I should talk to him later about it and that he would call me at 7 (4+ hours ago). He hasn’t called yet (Whew! Crisis averted?). Maybe his roommate told him to lay off.

Those words being said, this is what I want to say to him (really, really) if we talk again because I can control my impulsive self, goddammit!!! (and I really do love my Loverman!)

(and, yes, I know that if I truly was gifted in the craft of impulse control, I would just not answer the phone, but I think I would kind of like to know what it feels like to have someone “fight for me”. Just for a little while. Is that so bad?)

I shouldn’t have teased you. I got you all got and bothered and worked up, but the fact is: I got a man. He makes me very happy, almost all the time (which is all anyone can really hope for). 5 years ago I fought to get this man, 2-1/2 years later he left me, and 5 months after that he let me back in. He was a very broken man and I spent a lot of my time and patience showing him and waiting for him to understand that I wasn’t out to hurt him. I waited and waited and waited for this special man to let me in to his innermost thoughts (and I got to meet his mom and I know his brother…) and it would be very shitty of me to turn around and fuck someone else because I can’t keep my pussy tucked in my pants.

I am sorry if my flirting led you to believe that we could actually have a “thing”. The flirting and sexting is very flattering (and panty-moistening) but, after I thought about it on my way home, I realize that I can’t betray my sexy Loverman like that: just for a quick roll in the sack with a stranger for the thrill of it. My relationship with him is so important to me. During the time he was gone from me I could barely go from one day to the next. I can’t even imagine trying to get through the rest of my life feeling that same emptiness.

We could possibly skate together, but it would have to be with my Loverman, too. We both skate together all the time and if I was seen “skating with another man” I am pretty sure I know how it would make him feel — and he would definitely find out about it! I know how it would make me feel if the tables were turned… How would you feel if you found out your girl was out screwing around with someone else?

I am sorry, Dude. We can be “skate friends”, but not the rest…

I MEAN IT!


5 responses to “Can We Say Impulse Control?!?!

  1. I guess there are more perks than skating 😛

  2. The Hook says:

    Stand your ground, my friend!

    • I did! I truly am a flirt. I love the power it gives me, but my life is plenty complicated enough right now. I can watch a soap opera, I don’t need to live one 🙂
      Thanks, Hook!

  3. […] called me Friday night, right after I dropped Loverman off at work. I told him all those things I said I would! In fact, that was how I started the conversation (after “Hi” of […]

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