Attention Whore

Attention Whore

AttentionWhore

The thought just popped into my head randomly the other day and I wanted to jot something down about it.

Maybe something would come to me while I was writing.

Anyway…

I think I’m a bit of an attention whore.

It’s not like I go around creating ‘incidents’ or anything like that.

But I kind of do.

Some days (and only on some days) it seems like I get bored with myself easily.

Myself, my situation, my surroundings… I don’t really know, actually.

Unfortunately, that means sometimes I make horrible choices and reach out to ‘touch’ someone I probably shouldn’t.

Like Loserman for the longest time – I kept searching for his attention and it seemed he was intentionally ignoring it.

So, I kept trying to get it.

Maybe if I acted a certain way, or put up with his ignoring me just this one last time…

But alas, no.

Enter: Alaska.

He has been the butt of my horrible choices since last October.

But, FINALLY, I kinda just wish he would stop engaging with me at all. I don’t need or want to be his attention whore any longer.

Now that I know he put his awesome stanky dick in that fugly bitch Amanda AND that she wants to climb right back on, I’m kinda over him.

He didn’t defend my honor when she walked in on us!! In fact, it seemed as if he didn’t have much respect for me at all.

I’ve always wanted and tried to trust him, but I don’t want to try any more. I don’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

After practically no contact for a week, I only heard from him once in regards to our “encounter” with Amanda, and *I* had to fucking initiate it:

Amanda1

Whew! Good thing she’s cool. And, by the way, thanks for checking on ME: the one you actually fucked that night (pun intended!)!

After what he probably felt was a sufficient “cool down period” for me, he began trying to contact me again. First with a couple of phone calls and, when I didn’t answer them, texts…

AttentionWhore-2

I lied. My phone sat right next to me while I watched and ignored his calls.

The following day he tried again.

Again I ignored it and instead responded with a text about an hour later.

AttentionWhore3

We sent a couple more messages back and forth about a recent order I placed on my TLC account and that was the end of it.

Hopefully, for me, that really IS the end of it and I can stay away from his company and his cock. (It should be fairly easy, though. I was absolutely humiliated that night the fugly ho-bag, Amanda, crashed our little get-together. His taste in bitches is DIS-GUS-TING and I don’t even want to consider that I could possibly be that ratchet.)

Maybe the next time he contacts me (if that actually happens), I’ll tell him that I started sucking dick for money…

Dammit! There I go again!

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13 thoughts on “Attention Whore

    1. Smoking a joint always makes me happy 😀 And I think I will have more time ‘to myself’ this weekend be cause Mick has to go away for a Legion thing.

      …Lost and hopeful for sure. Thanks for the Alanis! ❤

  1. I think we all crave attention and bad annoying attention is still attention right? Try your hardest to stay away from Alaska…you deserve so much better and he hasn’t earned your attention!

    1. You say stuff and then I think, “Duh!!” Yes indeed, bad attention is still attention. But that entire incident leaves a really bad taste in my mouth – more than anything else he has or hasn’t done – Thinking about it makes me physically ill.
      And I have been getting plenty of good attention from Mick so I’m not starving for it like I thought I was before… 😀

  2. Thinking about Alaska’s history and upbringing, I think your expectation of him respecting women in general and you personally is somewhat faulty. You definitely deserve better, and he does not seem to know any better.

  3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an attention whore! We deserve to be the center of attention, and the sooner guys start realizing we’re not the ones being unreasonable, the better. This reminds me of the first guy that I seriously dated in college. He doesn’t get much mention on my blog, though he was equally as deplorable as some of them that DO get attention. Great post! I was beginning to think I was the only girl who was getting this whole dating thing wrong!

  4. I know I’m new here, but I’m SO glad that the Alaska Project is over (please actually be done, reunion shows are terrible). Yes, the other thing may not last or work out or be perfect in every moment, but at least it’s starting from a place where he DOESN’T treat you like shit and make you miserable.

    1. LOL! “The Alaska Project”… Awesome! Thanks for the belly laugh, my dear!

      Also, thank you for the support and encouragement ❤ I am hoping that Alaska will no longer be the butt of my bad choices.

Talk to me :-)

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