When my thoughts were finally able to succumb to peace, I slept for maybe 2 hours.
Which kept Alaska from sleeping well, too.
The previous night, after he had ravaged me to the point I was scared enough to ask if I could go home, he became very gentle with me. The way he made love to me, the way he held me in his arms, the way he spoke to me, the way he woke up each time I stirred and made sure I was okay…
I wasn’t, but at the time I didn’t feel like I could tell him that… I was worried I would get another whipping and my ass wasn’t ready again so soon… Or my mind. My knees and ankles were hurting me to the point I could barely stay still in the bed, let alone kneel before him and submit again.
Regardless, Thursday morning when I woke up, I decided to make the best of my place in Alaska’s bed and start the morning on a somewhat positive note. As you know, waking up with a warm, sexy man next to me doesn’t happen very often. Most times it’s just sex, maybe cuddle, then go home. With Loserman, it was once a week in a hotel (if I was lucky).
And, of course, after a lovely couple of morning orgasms for me, it was time to service Daddy.
Alaska led me over to kneel before him as he sat on the couch and told me what he wanted. He reassured me that, as soon as my legs started to hurt or I felt like I couldn’t handle it any more, I should tell him and he would stop. He also told me I could use my hands to touch him, or to prop myself up if I needed to. “Thank you, Daddy,” I said as I took the head of his cock in my mouth and imagined how good it would fee for him and how proud I was making him.
I was so relieved that he had heard and understood my fear from the night before. Maybe not as much as I wanted him to, but he was obviously making an effort and I wanted to show him that I could see that.
“That’s my good little girl,” he said when I was through. He petted my hair as I rested my head in his lap for a moment, savoring the smell of sex… Our sex…
Then he helped me stand up (I was really stuck down there this time! My knees totally wouldn’t unbend). I didn’t even have to ask. He was patient and gentle and made sure I was steady before he let go of me so I could shower and get ready for work.
The hot shower felt wonderful on my tired body and helped clear some of the fog (or maybe it was just the steam clearing when I was finished. idk 😉 )
We communicated regularly for the next couple of days. Just idle chat. We should have started talking about my issues right away instead of letting them take over my brain as you saw in yesterday’s post…
Saturday I couldn’t let it go any longer and had to bring it up.
It started with him asking if I wanted to come over…
I said, “Kinda… A little maybe…”
was = easy
Monday evening he called me and again we talked about my safety and trust in him. I explained to him how vulnerable I felt not being able to submit as long as he needed, and that because of my few physical limitations, I truly didn’t think that I could be a good sub – because not being able to kneel in front of my Daddy is a kinda big deal! He reassured me again that I just have to tell him; communication is so important!
I was actually surprised to hear from him Tuesday night. I figured that my episode last week (or rather, his episode) had put him off. That and all the talking about this shit over and over again just so I could start to feel comfortable again…
He wanted me to come over to his place after work and spend the night. I was worried, but against my better judgment, I went to his place with my bag anyway, ready to bolt if things got too uncomfortable.
Nothing got uncomfortable. We talked again about my concerns for my safety. We worked out a safe word, and I will hold a set of keys to drop if I am unable to talk.
When the clothes finally came off later:
- I kept my hands behind my back
- Alaska was much more clear with me about what to do with them when they weren’t supposed to be behind my back
- He was very careful not to make me stay on the floor for too long and it was obvious he was trying to be more in tune with my body’s signals. He helped me to get up from the floor every single time I was down there…
- For the times when I was on the floor with his dick in my mouth, I was very careful to do it how he had taught me a couple of weeks before
And I was rewarded well Tuesday night for being Daddy’s good little girl.