Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Morning After

on October 29, 2015

When my thoughts were finally able to succumb to peace, I slept for maybe 2 hours.

Which kept Alaska from sleeping well, too.

The previous night, after he had ravaged me to the point I was scared enough to ask if I could go home, he became very gentle with me. The way he made love to me, the way he held me in his arms, the way he spoke to me, the way he woke up each time I stirred and made sure I was okay…

I wasn’t, but at the time I didn’t feel like I could tell him that… I was worried I would get another whipping and my ass wasn’t ready again so soon… Or my mind. My knees and ankles were hurting me to the point I could barely stay still in the bed, let alone kneel before him and submit again.

Regardless, Thursday morning when I woke up, I decided to make the best of my place in Alaska’s bed and start the morning on a somewhat positive note. As you know, waking up with a warm, sexy man next to me doesn’t happen very often. Most times it’s just sex, maybe cuddle, then go home. With Loserman, it was once a week in a hotel (if I was lucky).

And, of course, after a lovely couple of morning orgasms for me, it was time to service Daddy.

Alaska led me over to kneel before him as he sat on the couch and told me what he wanted. He reassured me that, as soon as my legs started to hurt or I felt like I couldn’t handle it any more, I should tell him and he would stop. He also told me I could use my hands to touch him, or to prop myself up if I needed to. “Thank you, Daddy,” I said as I took the head of his cock in my mouth and imagined how good it would fee for him and how proud I was making him.

I was so relieved that he had heard and understood my fear from the night before. Maybe not as much as I wanted him to, but he was obviously making an effort and I wanted to show him that I could see that.

“That’s my good little girl,” he said when I was through. He petted my hair as I rested my head in his lap for a moment, savoring the smell of sex… Our sex…

Then he helped me stand up (I was really stuck down there this time! My knees totally wouldn’t unbend). I didn’t even have to ask. He was patient and gentle and made sure I was steady before he let go of me so I could shower and get ready for work.

The hot shower felt wonderful on my tired body and helped clear some of the fog (or maybe it was just the steam clearing when I was finished. idk 😉 )

We communicated regularly for the next couple of days. Just idle chat. We should have started talking about my issues right away instead of letting them take over my brain as you saw in yesterday’s post…

Saturday I couldn’t let it go any longer and had to bring it up.

It started with him asking if I wanted to come over…

I said, “Kinda… A little maybe…”

was = easy

Monday evening he called me and again we talked about my safety and trust in him. I explained to him how vulnerable I felt not being able to submit as long as he needed, and that because of my few physical limitations, I truly didn’t think that I could be a good sub – because not being able to kneel in front of my Daddy is a kinda big deal! He reassured me again that I just have to tell him; communication is so important!

I was actually surprised to hear from him Tuesday night. I figured that my episode last week (or rather, his episode) had put him off. That and all the talking about this shit over and over again just so I could start to feel comfortable again…

He wanted me to come over to his place after work and spend the night. I was worried, but against my better judgment, I went to his place with my bag anyway, ready to bolt if things got too uncomfortable.

Nothing got uncomfortable. We talked again about my concerns for my safety. We worked out a safe word, and I will hold a set of keys to drop if I am unable to talk.

When the clothes finally came off later:

  • I kept my hands behind my back
  • Alaska was much more clear with me about what to do with them when they weren’t supposed to be behind my back
  • He was very careful not to make me stay on the floor for too long and it was obvious he was trying to be more in tune with my body’s signals. He helped me to get up from the floor every single time I was down there…
  • For the times when I was on the floor with his dick in my mouth, I was very careful to do it how he had taught me a couple of weeks before

And I was rewarded well Tuesday night for being Daddy’s good little girl.

16 responses to “The Morning After

  1. Franco Bolli says:

    Your previous post was brought under my attention. I just want to say, after reading this post, please do not drop guard yet. Yet I hope it works out for you. Stay safe.

  2. Isabella LeCour says:

    Hmm, I agree. Do not drop your guard. But I’ve got an issue. From the previous post, he never said to place your hands behind your back. So the whole punishment was based in a falsehood. He made a mistake. Does he see that or is there some information missing from the posts?

    • smitten says:

      No, you didn’t miss anything. He doesn’t think he made a mistake. That was something we’ve talked about…
      I am completely backed off. The next move is his and he knows what I want.

  3. dievca says:

    Was very uncomfortable about your first post and am still leery from this post. True trust has not been developed and you two have not grown at an appropriate pace together. Good Luck, Be aware and just be SAFE.

  4. A decent Dom will admit his error. Sir and I had a misstep once where the result was bruising that was past the agreed upon. The first thing he said was, this is my fault, whatever the reason I should have stopped it. In most D/s relationships there is the possibility to have a misstep, but it’s about communicating and taking responsibility.

    • smitten says:

      Since yesterday I have been doing a lot of thinking. Normally I would reach out in the evening and send him a pic and wish him sweet dreams… I know it doesn’t mean much, but last night I did not do that. I have backed away…

      Thank you so much!! ❤

  5. Janelle says:

    Yesterday’s post took me several tries to get through, because I was so upset and frightened for you. Reading through the comments, I became even more alarmed. Because one who abuses is always sorry afterwards and does many sweet, tender things to make it up to you and demonstrate that the behavior was an anomoly, not part of a normal pattern, that you have nothing to fear from him. And maybe that continues for awhile, until you start to really trust him again and believe it really WAS a one-off event. Then it happens again, and again he’s so very sorry, so very regretful, so very sweet and tender and kind and compassionate towards you … all in hopes you do not start to recognize a pattern to his behavior.

    Between xH and present H I was with someone who treated me this way, and it only took two instances to make me wake up, say no more, and terminate all contact. I did not wait for his behavior to escalate, for the subtle hints and then not-so-subtle statements that this treatment was somehow my fault, that I brought it upon myself. It did not happen to me – I ended the relationship before it could get there – and maybe Alaska is not that man and it won’t happen to you. But this is far too new of a relationship to be dropping so many huge red flags so early. I know you’re being careful. I know you state you have backed away. But I personally think you need to reestablish trust outside of physical intimacy before getting naked with him again.

    Plese be careful, Smitten. I want positive, happy relationships to happen for you, and this one does not bode well for that sort of outcome.

    • smitten says:

      Awww, Janelle, thank you ❤
      You are right about the abuse. He really does know exactly what I want and contact is still his responsibility. This might all be a non-issue anyway, I haven't heard from him since I left his place yesterday morning… I suspect tonight at bedtime he will say something, or he will call/text me about the time I get off work and ask if I want to come over. Either way, I told him that I want him to take me out for dinner/bowling/dancing… If he won't do that with me first, then it's finito.

  6. Hi there. I’ve followed up to this point from Cinn’s blog. I don’t know about your or your relationship aside from what you’ve written in your blog, and I know these are snapshots of a much more 3D reality and we can’t know everything.

    The biggest question I have is… are you safe? *really* safe? Is taking these risks after you’ve had your boundaries exceeded worth it? I’d like to suggest that you go back and reread your posts and comments as if they were written by someone else. What would you think of that person? What would your “gut” be saying?

    You are ultimately the only person who can decide, but you are also the only one who can stand up for yourself. At the end of the day, you can only know what you know and what your heart and gut tell you.

    We all get caught up in the emotions, the excitement, the “WHEEOMGTHISISSOHOT” and it feels so much like a whirlwind. That’s when things can happen, warning bells that someone would normally listen to get ignored and then they are in trouble.

    Do you have a friend you can trust with knowing that you’re doing some kinky things? If so, I would recommend you set up a safecall. That friend will know where you are at. That friend will know that if you don’t call them by such and such a time, they will bring the cavalry to come find you. This is something I recommend anyone does when meeting up with someone new.

    We all make mistakes, but you should not have to pay for his mistakes. Until you feel like you are 100% safe, I would say “don’t go over to his house alone.”

    • smitten says:

      Thank you for taking your time to lay out your thoughts and feelings for me here. Everything you say is correct. I do have a friend that I use for safecalls sometimes, but up until now, did not feel the need with Alaska. Since Wednesday morning when I left his place, I haven’t seen him again and there has been extremely minimal contact. If he hasn’t initiated it, it hasn’t happened. Even then, it’s only a few sentences at best.

      I have completely distanced myself from him based on everything that everyone has said here.

  7. missagathaarmstrong says:

    Darling – no need to reply… you have replied enough … my heart goes out to you . And deep inside, I know exactly where your coming from. Be gentle with yourself and trust your heart … but you must start listening to it too x

  8. mykynla says:

    This post is very old but very deep. I had a similar situation so I am glad I clicked a read

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